From Instagram to LinkedIn, our social media feeds have slowly turned into stages. Every day, people, most of them not public figures, are sharing intimate reflections, polished photos, and motivational speeches with bold storytelling energy. It is easy to think this is just a content trend. But it runs deeper. This is a cultural and psychological shift. Why is everyone talking about themselves? What are they really seeking, from us, and from themselves?
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You scroll during a lunch break or between tasks. On LinkedIn, someone is sharing their emotional turning point, complete with a professional headshot. On Instagram, it is a reel with a personal message about overcoming hardship. On Facebook, it is another friend posting a long caption about growth, resilience, or self-love. Many offer lessons. Some are promoting something. Most ask for your attention.
You pause and wonder:
Is this real?
Is this helpful?
Is this even about connection, or about performance?
Why are so many people broadcasting their emotions, life philosophies, or achievements?
Why does it feel like everyone is trying to teach, preach, or inspire at every turn?”
Are they hoping to be seen as leaders?
Or is this a quiet, continuous scream for approval, a silent cry that says:
“Look at me.”
“Validate me.”
“Remind me I matter.”
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Today, we are unpacking this phenomenon. Not to judge it, but to understand it. We will explore the emotional, social, and neurological reasons why self-promotion and oversharing have become the new normal, and what that might be costing us.
It Is Not Just You
You are not imagining it. Oversharing is increasing. But what qualifies as “oversharing” is subjective. For some, a birthday photo with a reflection is sweet. For others, it feels performative. The line between self-expression and self-promotion is getting thinner and blurrier. The trend is widespread. And it is not limited to influencers or creators. Ordinary professionals, introverted employees, and even people who once “hated social media” are suddenly opening up online. To understand why, we need to understand what social media has become and what people are using it for.
From Platforms to Mirrors: Social Media as Self-Making
Social media has evolved far beyond what it was ten years ago. In its early stages, Facebook was for connecting. Instagram was for documenting. LinkedIn was for professional networking. Now, all three, and many more, have merged into platforms of personal storytelling.
Psychologist Dr. Sherry Turkle refers to this as the “presentation of self,” where users construct and curate an identity for public consumption. “We edit, retouch, filter, and rehearse our online selves,” she writes in Alone Together.
But more than that, we shape how we want others to perceive our lives. It is not about being fake. It is about being seen, in a way that feels right to us. The rise of authenticity culture, “be real,” “share the process,” “show the behind-the-scenes,” has accelerated this.
Suddenly, the unfiltered photo is just as strategic as the polished one.
Now, to be trusted, you must be vulnerable.
The LinkedIn Transformation: When Professional Became Personal
LinkedIn, in particular, has undergone a cultural reset. Once a digital briefcase, it has turned into a storytelling platform. According to Social Media Today (2023), posts that include personal anecdotes, especially those tied to adversity, emotion, or transformation, receive up to 5x more engagement than purely informational updates.
Why? Because stories make people pause. They trigger emotion. They invite connection. But there is another reason: The blurring of personal and professional life.
In the remote/hybrid work era, people are no longer able to separate who they are from what they do. Identity and employment are now intertwined. Sharing a personal story is no longer seen as unprofessional; it is seen as brand-building. It is not always intentional. Many people are simply trying to be relatable. But when everyone starts doing it, it becomes a race for attention.
The Validation Loop: Why We Keep Coming Back
Underneath every personal post is an unspoken question: “Do I matter?”
Social media runs on likes, comments, shares, and now saves. These metrics are publicly visible and privately addictive. Neurobiologically, they stimulate dopamine, the brain’s reward chemical. A hit of dopamine makes us feel good. So we post again. And again.
Dr. Anna Lembke, a Stanford psychiatrist and author of Dopamine Nation, explains that this cycle mimics the addictive behavior seen in gambling. “Variable rewards,” she writes, “are the most potent; you do not know how well your post will do, so you keep checking.”
You do not need to be an influencer to fall into this loop. A selfie that gets 70 likes instead of your usual 20 feels like a win. A vulnerable post that sparks dozens of messages can change your day. Over time, this trains the brain to seek out attention, not as a bonus, but as a need.
But here is the real question: What drives us to spend so much energy shaping an image, especially when the approval often comes from people we barely know? What are we really looking for when we put so much effort into being seen a certain way, especially by people outside our real lives?
The Psychology of Self-Disclosure
There is nothing inherently wrong with self-disclosure. In fact, it is a healthy part of building relationships. But there are differences between intentional self-disclosure and performative vulnerability. In psychology, self-disclosure refers to the act of revealing personal information to another person with the goal of deepening a connection. It is mutual, respectful, and contextually appropriate.
Online, however, self-disclosure is often one-sided. We reveal things to an audience, by the way, many of whom we do not know, with no guarantee of reciprocity. When used well, this can build community. When overused, it can lead to shame, regret, or emotional exhaustion.
So why do we keep doing it?
To feel visible: People want to be known.
Posting personal updates helps them feel like they exist in a world of noise.
To gain control: Sharing a story, especially one of struggle, allows the narrator to shape their own narrative.
To cope: Talking about pain, success, or change can feel therapeutic, even without professional help.
To connect: Vulnerability attracts support. In a disconnected world, a post can be a lifeline.
To compete: If everyone else is posting achievements and hardships, you might feel pressured to keep up.
Red Flags: When It Becomes Too Much
Not all sharing is healthy. In fact, some behaviors can indicate deeper emotional distress. Here are five red flags to watch for in yourself or others:
Emotional Overexposure Without Support
If someone consistently posts intimate details of their life without having real-world support, social media may be functioning as a substitute for connection. This can backfire, especially when responses are dismissive or judgmental.
Seeking External Validation for Internal Crises
When someone’s sense of worth is heavily tied to how their posts perform, this can signal underlying self-esteem issues. They may be using social media metrics as proof of their value.
Constant Need for Audience Reactions
If every post ends with “Tell me I’m not alone” or “Do you feel this too?” it might reflect emotional loneliness or unresolved trauma. While the community is healing, depending on strangers for emotional regulation is risky.
Oversharing Without Boundaries
When people share sensitive content (e.g., mental health diagnoses, family conflicts, romantic breakups) in real time and without context, it may reflect dysregulation. These posts often come from a place of pain, not strategy.
Comparing Trauma as Content
There is a quiet competition happening on some platforms: who has suffered the most? When vulnerability becomes a branding tool, people may begin exaggerating or framing personal events for emotional impact.
Social Media and Mental Health: What the Research Says
The American Psychological Association (2022) published a detailed report on social media’s effects on emotional well-being.
Some of the findings included:
High levels of social comparison were linked to lower self-esteem, especially in women.
Overexposure to others’ success stories created feelings of inadequacy and imposter syndrome.
Emotional posts that receive little engagement can lead to shame, anxiety, or withdrawal.
Long-term use of social media platforms was correlated with higher levels of depression and loneliness, especially among heavy users. Yet, interestingly, users who practiced intentional sharing, followed uplifting accounts, and took regular breaks reported higher satisfaction. This suggests that it is not what you share, but why and how, that matters most
What This Means for You
If you are feeling emotionally overwhelmed by the constant self-disclosure online, you are not alone. Here are a few thoughts to help ground your experience:
You are allowed to scroll without reacting.
Not every story is yours to hold. You do not have to respond, comment, or engage.
Silence is a valid boundary.
You are allowed to unfollow people, even if you know them.
Digital proximity is not real intimacy. If someone’s posts are making you feel drained, you can mute them without guilt.
You are allowed to celebrate your life privately. Just because everyone is posting every detail does not mean you have to. Privacy is still powerful.
You are allowed to post with intention. If you have a story to tell, tell it. But ask yourself: Who is this for? What do I need in return? Would I be okay if no one reacts?
The New Age of Digital Storytelling
Let us not forget that storytelling is ancient. We are wired to make sense of life through narrative. What has changed is the medium. Instead of fireside tales or journal entries, we now have Instagram carousels and LinkedIn reflections. There is beauty in this. People are reclaiming their stories. Survivors are finding community. Marginalized voices are being amplified. All of this matters. But like any tool, social media must be used with awareness. You can tell your story without making it your entire identity. You can show up without giving it all away. You can be visible without being on display.
Quiet Confidence Is Revolutionary
We live in a time where self-promotion is expected. Where silence is mistaken for failure. Where invisibility feels like irrelevance. But here is the truth: You do not need to constantly explain, defend, or decorate your life. Your worth is not measured by engagement. Your identity is not defined by your caption. Whether you post or not, you are enough. And if you are wondering why everyone seems to be sharing their story these days, just remember, they are probably asking the same thing you are:
Do I matter?
Do you see me?
Can I be heard?
Let us listen, with compassion, but also with discernment. Not everything needs to be consumed. Not everything needs to be said. But everything deserves reflection.
Author’s Note:
If you find yourself sharing a lot online and wondering why it is okay to pause and reflect.
Ask yourself gently:
What am I hoping to receive by posting this? Is it connection, validation, encouragement, or simply a way to feel seen? None of these needs is wrong.
But sometimes, when we feel unseen or emotionally stretched, social media becomes a mirror we perform into, rather than a space for genuine support.
Think about why you are shaping a specific identity online. What is the real reason behind it? Is it rooted in your career goals, or is it filling an emotional gap, loneliness, invisibility, or unmet needs from the past?
We begin to heal when we stop performing and start understanding.
Talk to a therapist if you notice that sharing leaves you feeling more exposed than supported.
Reach out to a trusted friend. Most of all, get curious about yourself, not just what you post, but why. Healing is not about silence. It is about knowing yourself well enough to know what truly nourishes you.
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