Wendy Haller’s life is a quiet lesson in transformation. After decades of serving others, her body finally said STOP. In that pause, her soul began to speak, and she gave herself permission to return to her creative life.

For years, Wendy Haller served as the invisible architect of other people’s success. At ESPN and NBC, she was an integral part of the broadcast crew behind the scenes of two Olympic broadcasts, and in the classroom, she laid the foundation for her students’ futures. But after decades of building worlds for everyone else, it took a “hard stop” from her own body to change her trajectory. Through the challenge of chronic illness, she finally opened her grandmother’s cedar chest to reclaim the writer she had hidden away for a lifetime. 

Today, Wendy’s Permission to Bloom Transformation Story has come full circle: she is no longer just a supporting character in a bureaucratic script, but a published author who has finally permitted herself to be the main character of her own life.

I am happy to introduce you to the woman behind the words. In this candid conversation, Wendy shares the raw reality of leaving a high-powered career rooted in corporate and academic institutions, the struggle of navigating chronic pain, and the quiet, late-blooming liberation that comes when you finally decide that your story is the one worth telling.

For decades, Wendy Haller moved through the world as a master of competence. She did not just work. She performed. Whether navigating the sharp-edged boys’ club at ESPN, crafting scripts for sports broadcasts, or laying the foundations for students in her classroom, Wendy carried the invisible weight that so many women bear. She felt the relentless pressure to be useful, strong, and bulletproof. She spent her life in the service of other people’s stories, winning two Emmys along the way, while her own voice remained tucked away like a secret.

The breaking point did not happen in a high-pressure studio. It arrived in the devastating silence of a missed moment. When a babysitter witnessed her son’s first time rolling over while Wendy was miles away on the road, the script of her life hit a jagged final line. She chose motherhood. She chose teaching. She decided to be present.

However, life had one more pivotal moment in store. It was a transition that would demand the physical strength she had always relied on. When a double-bout of COVID triggered a dormant battle with psoriatic arthritis, the woman who had spent fifty years doing it all found herself unable to do anything. As her colleagues returned to the classroom, Wendy sat in the heavy shadows of teacher guilt and mom guilt, facing a body that had finally stopped cooperating. It was in this valley of exhaustion that she reached for her grandmother’s old cedar chest.

Inside, she found more than just old poetry. She found her liberation.

When she opened that chest, Wendy finally claimed the one thing she had never asked for: permission. 

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Permission to stop being useful and start being creative. 

Permission to trade corporate expectations for raw, dialogue-driven truth. 

Today, her books are not just novels; they are also works of art. They are the living proof that when your body forces you to slow down, your soul can finally find its pace.

Her journey is a reminder for every woman who has ever tied her worth to her productivity. It proves that the most powerful chapter of your life is the one you write when you finally stop running and allow yourself to bloom.

Please enjoy reading her honest answers to my questions.

Interview: Pinar Reyhan Ozyigit
Photos: Debra Chute

Wendy, for readers who are meeting you for the first time, who are you?

I am now a published author. I have had a very eclectic career. I actually started working at ESPN. I worked in sports broadcasting for seven years, in the graphics department as a freelance graphic operator, in a highly male-dominated industry. I joke that I worked at ESPN, I met my husband, and then I left. I then worked as a freelance graphic designer and associate producer for NBC, ABC, and various other networks.

What was that early career like, and what did you achieve?

It was a great job. I was traveling three days a week for my career. It was very lucrative. I am honored to say that I won two Emmys for my collaborative work with my group at NBC Sports during the Olympics.

What made you change directions?

After my son was born, I was away, and his babysitter saw him roll over for the first time. That was it for me. I did not want to do this. I did not want to be on the road. I did not want to miss my child’s moments. That led me into teaching.

Why teaching?

I earned my master’s degree in early childhood special education, and that has been the focus of my career for most of its duration. Then I could be a mom. I loved working with kids. I worked with kids as a camp counselor and nanny, and I loved being around them. I honestly thought I would retire as a teacher.

What did you love most about teaching?

I loved working with my students. I loved the collaborative effort with my team, my students, and their families. In early childhood education, we provide a foundation for their educational careers. We were setting them up for success.

Especially my students with special needs, we helped them access the services they needed early on, so they could be successful in their future. That was so meaningful. And as a mom, I was on my kid’s schedule, so it made it great.

Then your health changed. What happened?

I got sick. I had COVID twice. The second time really knocked me out. I have psoriatic arthritis. I was diagnosed with that, and it is hereditary. It runs in my family. My rheumatologist said I had symptoms that I did not realize were there.

You know how we do that as working moms. You excuse everything away because you have a job to do. The symptoms were there, and I excused them away until that second time with COVID took me out.

I was so fatigued that I could barely make it through a day. I had to sleep. It hit its worst after the summer when I went back to school. I was hardly functioning. I thought, I cannot do this for my students. If I cannot be 100 percent for my students, I should not be in the classroom.

How did you manage after the diagnosis, and how did you connect with writing?

I got diagnosed and put on medication. It was trial and error to find the right combination that worked for me. I am in a good maintenance mode now, some good days and bad days. This disease is very unpredictable. At the time, my son was going off to college. He pulled me aside about a week before he left and said, ‘Mom, I want you to write, and I don’t want you to stop writing. When I come home for Christmas break, I’d like you to show me what you’ve been doing.’

I was still working, but was put on intermittent FMLA. I still had that insecurity, that self-doubt devil sitting on my shoulder.

Then he came home for Christmas, and I was thinking, please do not ask me, because I had not done anything other than my usual poetry as a diary or journaling. And he did not ask, thank God. Then he left and went back to school.

What happened after that?

My doctor said, ‘You cannot go back to the classroom.’ There was another COVID surge. My doctor said it was too risky for me to do so. I am immunocompromised. If I get sick, I am limited on what I can take because of the medication I am on. When I get sick, it takes me a long time to recover.

So January 2nd came. Everybody went back to school. All my coworkers went back to the classroom, but I didn’t. And the guilt, pain, and sadness overtook me.

I already have mom guilt, and now I have teacher guilt. I have had mom guilt because I could not do all the things in my house to care for my family like I usually could because of my physical limitations. And then I could not be the teacher that my students deserved. That took a toll. I went through a bit of depression that first month home.

What helped you move through that moment?

At the end of January, it was like, okay, you can sit here and have a pity party for yourself, and what does that accomplish, or you can finally do the thing you always wanted to do.

Life, the universe, whatever, in this strange way, was giving me this opportunity. If you do not do it, I will waste a chance to pursue something in my heart that I have always dreamed of, but never had the confidence to do.

So, I went to my grandma’s old cedar chest, which I had inherited, and pulled out all the writings I had hidden away. That is how my first published book, a poetry collection, came to be.

I selected my poems, choosing those that represented the four stages of my life, from eighteen to fifty years old. I self-published my poetry book. Then it was as if a floodgate had opened, and I couldn’t stop writing.

If there is a span of a few days and I have not written, it is like anxiety takes over. I have to get it out. I have to write. It’s healing and cathartic.

What did you write after the poetry book?

Then it was my children’s books. I wrote two children’s books back-to-back because, as the saying goes, you write what you know. I wrote books for my preschoolers through grade two.

Then I wanted to prove to myself I could write long form, because I had only written poetry, children’s books, short stories, and prose. That is how the Flannigan Girls came about.

How did the Flannigan Girls story begin?

I started in the summer. Initially, it was going to be the story about the youngest daughter, Claire, and her husband, who have three children, and how they bring their two families together.

It was going to be about how they were raised differently and how they bring their families together, learning to parent even though they were parented differently.

But then the book, the characters, and the sisters took over. I was writing a chapter in which the oldest sister, Rebecca, entered the conversation. It was as if she were tapping me on the shoulder, saying, ‘No, you need to stop. That is my story. That is for the next book.’

Then I realized, oh my gosh, this is not a story about Claire and her husband. This is a story about sisters. It is about how they were raised. It is about generational trauma and the process of healing. It is about sibling bonding and how it shifts from childhood, when you are siblings, to adulthood, when you become friends.

I started doing research. I signed up for a novel writing workshop. Then the characters took over. I joked that I became schizophrenic because all they did was talk in my head.

How did you organize yourself to write, especially with chronic pain?

It took a while to establish a routine. Because I have psoriatic arthritis, some days I had to accept that my body would not allow me to write. When you live with chronic pain, it affects your mind. I could not focus. I could not think.

So, it was about setting aside time and being okay when it didn’t happen. Knowing it is okay. I had to stop putting pressure on myself to perform, especially when I am working on my own timeline. I am not answering to anybody but myself.

I couldn’t shut off my brain. Even when sleeping, the story was in my head.

That is why I do not always write at my computer. I dictate into my note app. I always have a notepad in my purse. I type into my notes.

The majority of my second book was written while I was walking on the bike trail, dictating scenes out of order into my phone. That is when the scenes came to me.

What helped you build a routine that actually worked?

To create that routine, I had to find community. We are fortunate that our public library has a writer’s group. I went on Mondays for an hour or more of writing time together. It was a group of writers in a room, including songwriters, poets, nonfiction writers, and fiction writers, all with diverse writing styles.

That catapulted me into seeking more. I am a member of the Women’s Fiction Writers Association, and they have online sprints throughout the day. London Writer’s Salon also offers free writing sprints. I craved and sought out resources and communities to engage with. I surrounded myself with like-minded people.

And Women’s Fiction Writers Association. We are like a little community. You set an intention at the beginning and do a check-in at the end. We encourage each other. It is beautiful. When you feel you belong, a shift occurs.

Many people hear that self-publishing is easy. What was it really like for you?

I self-published my poetry book through Kindle Direct Publishing. I had an editor who is also a poet, and she guided me through the process.

When I created my children’s books, I needed an illustrator because I couldn’t draw, and I didn’t know how to format a children’s book. So I used a hybrid publisher.

With hybrid publishing, it’s a pay-to-play model, so you have to be extremely cautious. There are vanity presses that want to scam you. So it is a lot of research. I did extensive research and reached out to other authors for advice.

The hybrid publisher, Mirror Publishing, that I used for my children’s books was fantastic, but they only did children’s books. I wanted a place where I could do all my books through.

What do you think people should invest in when they self-publish?

Everyone should hire a cover artist if they lack the necessary skill set, because what people see first is the cover.

Additionally, consider hiring someone to edit your book, unless you possess the necessary skill set. Formatting is huge. A good editor and cover design are key in the process. An editor is great. Readers forgive a spelling error, but they want the format, the story, and the book cover to draw them in.

How did you choose your current publisher?

Another author, Jack Matthews, introduced me to Stillwater Press. They are the hybrid publisher I use now, based in Rhode Island.

I made an appointment and went in person. I grew up in Rhode Island. Their store is located a mile and a half from the house where I grew up. They are in a plaza that my brother and I used to bike to. It had a penny candy store. We used to bike there for penny candy and birch beer, then bike home. If that is not kismet, I don’t know what is.

They could publish all my genres, so it’s a one-stop shop. For me, with hybrid publishing being a pay-to-play model, I had to decide what my time is worth. My time is better spent letting them handle the cover design, formatting, and distribution. I just want to write.

What do you wish more new writers understood about publishing?

People get deceived. They think, Oh, I can write a book and publish it myself. Okay, great. However, here is everything else you need to do afterward.

If you just want to write a book because you have a story to tell, beautiful. Then you have the physical copy in your hand.

But if you want to gain readership, marketing is a beast. I want my journey to be authentic. I want readers because they connect to my story. They feel seen.

I write emotionally,dialogue-driven stories. I am getting better at description. My first draft always tells not to show. I tell in dialogue. Then in the second draft, I added the show, and I filled in the description to draw readers into the scene. My second draft is always the show.

I want raw dialogue first. I want a connection first. I want readers to escape into the world. I want it to feel like going out to coffee with a friend.

I recently attended a book club as the guest author for The Flannigan Girls. They were talking about the characters I created as if they were real people. Someone said, ‘Can you believe Becca?’ Another said, ‘I was Becca; I was the oldest. I know exactly what she went through.’ It was heartwarming to hear the story resonate with them. And of course, parts of me are in each character, and parts of my life story are in there.

What advice do you give to people who want to write but do not know where to start?

If you have an idea, my best advice is to write it down. But honestly, do a brain dump. Free write all the thoughts. For me, it feels hard to sit and write, so I dictate; I talk it out into my phone’s notes app. Then I upload it into a Word document and see, okay, where is my story in here?

I used the Save the Cat method by Jessica Brody, which is one of many writing methods. Your story deserves to be heard. As daunting as it may be, take a chance on yourself and do it. The end result, holding that finished product in your hand, is the best feeling. There is nothing like opening the box that arrives at your door and seeing your work sitting there, knowing you did it.

The author of Lessons in Chemistry queried around 100 agents before she got accepted. That is unbelievable. Ninety-nine rejections and you keep going.

Can you explain self-publishing, hybrid publishing, and traditional publishing in your own words?

Self-publishing is doing it on your own. You do everything. Kindle Direct Publishing is available on Kindle and Amazon. There is IngramSpark for paperbacks and ebooks. Barnes and Noble has options too. Draft2Digital is for an ebook. Those are some of the main ones.

Hybrid publishing is paid to play. You are paying professionals to do what is not in your wheelhouse. It is okay to say, ‘I do not want to format my book; I just want to write it and let someone else do it.’

Distribution is a lot. If you want to go wide, that is beyond Amazon. Some authors only publish ebooks on Kindle Unlimited, and that is their business model.

It takes a while to make a living. I have been in this for three years, and I still haven’t broken even on my investment. But I am doing something I love. My husband has hobbies like skiing and biking. It is his passion. Writing is my passion. I am investing in my passion.

Traditional publishing is a challenging field to enter. Querying agents is hard. The author of Lessons in Chemistry queried around 100 agents before she got accepted. That is unbelievable. Ninety-nine rejections and you keep going.

Sometimes it is corporate. It is about the market, budgets, and what they think will sell. I no longer want to go there. I lived a life where my career was dictated by others. I just want to do what brings me joy.

How did your family react to your first books?

They were really proud of me. They watched me struggle with my health, and to be able to say, Look what Mom did, gave me pride.

Life can get you down, but you can keep going, keep trying, and chase after your dreams.

I made it collaborative. I talked things out with them. My son is an artist studying film in New York City. He is an amazing writer. He writes for online magazines and creates short films for school. I dream of being as good a writer as he is. I value his input. My daughter continually cheers me on and picks me up when self-doubt takes over.

My husband read the first book and said it was not really his thing, but it was good. The second book was more for him because it was written from a dual point of view, featuring a husband and a wife. He could relate to the husband. He said he really liked it. Because he was connected.

Now that my kids are older, I do not have as much mom guilt about taking time away to write. They are living their lives. Maybe that is why it came at this time.

Women put a lot of pressure on themselves, trying to meet expectations for everybody else, and in the process, they lose themselves. Many women do not even ask: What about me? Do I matter?

You talked about comfort and support at home. Why does that matter so much?

It is not easy to stop working because of health, but my husband supports me. That comfort, that ability to make a decision and say, I will do this, is a kind of wealth money can’t buy.

Women put a lot of pressure on themselves, trying to meet expectations for everybody else, and in the process, they lose themselves. Many women do not even ask, What about me? Do I matter?

The system tells you, if you are busy, you are doing well. It’s unfortunate that we have to learn to give ourselves permission to sit down and relax.

When I was having really rough days, I would text my husband and say, I cannot cook dinner tonight. I cannot physically get off the couch. I felt guilty even though I knew he could cook or pick up takeout. He would say it is fine. But I still felt guilty.

My daughter was a high school senior at the time, so I was lying on the couch, saying sorry. My husband said, ‘It is okay, we are adults, we can take care of ourselves.’

Now I am more comfortable. When they ask what is for dinner, I say, ‘There are four adults in this house. Why do I always have to make a decision? What do you want? You can make it. You can serve me too.’ I’m more comfortable with knowing my limits.

As women, we put pressure on ourselves to serve too many roles. Some of it is learned. Even if you do not believe it, it is subconscious. Even if both partners work full-time, the women are often expected to come home and put a meal on the table. We can rotate. We can take turns. We can give ourselves permission to take a night off.

You now have readers and a community. How do you connect with them?

I do a newsletter monthly. It is just me being human. I share what I am working on. I include readers in my process. With my second book, I had three different ways the ending could go, and I could not decide which to choose. I knew the final scene, but I did not know how to wrap it up. I put the three options in a poll and let my subscribers vote. That is the story I wrote. The one they wanted to read. 

My cover designer sends me mockups of three different designs. I send them to my subscribers, and they vote. All of my covers are voted on by my newsletter subscribers, and they end up being the perfect fit for the story within the book. I want to take them along on the journey because I appreciate them.

What does your daily routine look like now?

I am more in a groove now. I get up, I have my coffee, coffee is my life in the morning. Then I do yoga, or I go on the spin bike, because with my disease, I have to move. I need to keep my joints moving.

Then I get onto my writing session. I say, I am going in, nobody disturb me. I put my AirPods in, I have my writing music, my soundtrack for that book, and I go in. I get lost in that world.

Creating this routine showed me it is okay to take two hours out of my day to write. It is also okay to spend 30 to 45 minutes exercising. There are enough hours in the day to do these things for ourselves while still being there for others.

My husband never had a problem with it. I always did. I always had guilt. Now I am like, no, it is okay. These things nourish my soul, and I can still attend to the other things I need to do. There are enough hours in the day for it all.

Do you carry any regrets about starting later? Since it is my problem currently, I am extremely mad that I stopped writing my book when we moved to Boston. And this is heavy guilt. I’ve been apologizing to myself lately and working on my book; hopefully, it will be published in April.

Exactly. Yes, I do. I wish I could go back to that college girl who was really writing. I wrote for my college newspaper and my college magazine. I wish I could tell her, ‘Do not give this up.’ I feel like it was missing for many years, even though I still wrote for myself.

What do you not miss about corporate life and institutional work?

Am I allowed to say the bullshit? Because it really is. It is all the bullshit.

In education, I would be in my classroom with my students, everything is going great, and an admin would walk in, usually at the worst time, and give their two cents on my classroom. I was like, ‘You don’t know what is going on here.’

Or, suddenly, it is. We haven’t changed the curriculum in a couple of years; let us change it. And I think, ‘Let me just be with my kids.’ This is working, why revamp?

Also, just because there is money in the budget for professional development, make it meaningful. Do not just check a box for someone who comes in to talk about something not relevant to what we teachers are dealing with right now. They do not know. Come spend a day in the classroom. See what kids really need. See what teachers really need. I miss my students. I miss my team. But I do not miss the job. Burnout is real in teaching.

Now, as a self-published author, I do not want to go back. I have been asked whether I want to publish traditionally. I have no desire. With traditional publishing, a company takes your work and does what it wants because you signed a contract. They get to dictate every step of the way, including the end product. I do not want that with my art. They manipulate it to what they expect will sell to the market. I do not want someone telling me what to say or not say.

After 20 years in teaching, how do you see education in the American Education System right now?

We are failing our students, especially in light of the current situation with the Department of Education. It breaks my heart, especially for children with special needs.

We have a Secretary of Education with zero experience in education. She ran a corporation where men jumped into an arena and beat each other up for money, and it was an act. What does she know about education systems or meeting the needs of students at different levels?

Every child learns differently. Disability or not, every child learns in a unique way. Teachers need to meet the needs of all children. When we emerged from the pandemic, people said kids were behind. Kids are not behind. The world stopped. Instead of trying to catch them up, we should return to where we left off and nurture children’s emotional well-being. Let them readjust to the world. Life skills matter. Care for them and stop worrying only about test scores and where they are “supposed” to be. Meet them where they are and allow them to grow at their level, and the learning will come if they have the emotional support. The worst thing you can do is make a child feel less than what is expected of them. You set up a lifetime of insecurities, scars, and trauma.

We should care for one another, not exclude people who don’t fit into a small box.

I pray the next generation steps up and says, “Oh, hell no.”

You also spoke about empathy and the larger system. What worries you most?

What is happening in our political system, with its lack of empathy and compassion, is the worst example of what our country should not be.

We should care for one another, not exclude people who don’t fit into a small box.

America is a melting pot. I am the granddaughter of immigrants. My children are the grandchildren of Holocaust survivors. My family would not be here without that history. We are doing children a disservice by failing to care for them. I am scared of the ripple effect.

My daughter suffers from depression and anxiety. It has been hard. And to see where some people want to put women, that is not what we fought for.

My grandmother was a submissive wife and woman. People fought so no one has to go through what she went through. My mother had more opportunities because of what my grandmother endured. I have more opportunities because of what my mother endured. That should be the path for all people. We should not be going back in time.

On a global level, that is not the world we live in. It will not keep us moving forward.

I pray the next generation steps up and says, “Oh, hell no.”

Ultimately, we are one race: the human race.

What would you say to the next generation?

They are going to inherit the mess right now. They have the power to change it.

Elected officials are in their places because people put them there, but many are not fighting for the people. In Connecticut, our representatives are trying, but speaking into a microphone is not working. Something needs to be done.

This generation in Congress and the Senate is not doing it. We need the next generation to say, ‘Oh, hell no, and make changes that keep propelling us forward.‘

Ultimately, we are one race: the human race. And yes, I am a little woo woo, but we are spiritual beings living a human experience. So why can’t we lift each other up instead of pushing people out because they don’t fit into someone’s box? Go live in your box. Leave us alone.

As a mother, how does this moment in the country hit you personally?

It makes me sad. It breaks my heart. My son is graduating from college. I am scared for the world he is entering. I do not want him thinking, ‘Can I afford groceries, rent, and gas? Can I find a job?’ This is not the world I want my kids to enter. My kids are lucky because they have a home and support forever. There are kids who do not have that. Families may want to support their kids, but cannot because they are struggling themselves.

My son has asked me, “Mama, am I going to be okay?” And I tell him, of course, you will be okay. You always have a place to come home to.

The End Note

It is a promise rooted in a deep, hard-won empathy for a world that feels increasingly fragile. For Wendy, “being okay” is about having the courage to pivot when the world demands too much of your spirit. Reaching into her grandmother’s cedar chest and claiming her voice at fifty, she has given her children a new kind of inheritance: the living proof that you can always begin again.

We must hold on to hope, and we must hold on to the youth, protecting the spark in the next generation before the world tries to extinguish it.

Wendy’s journey from the high-pressure “boys’ club” of sports TV to the classroom and then the quiet sanctuary of her writing desk embodies the enduring resilience of the human race. e no longer waits for permission; she simply creates. r story serves as a reminder that we are all spiritual beings finding our way home, and sometimes, that home is found in the raw, honest pages of a life we finally gave ourselves the grace to live.

Thank you for reading! 

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