Pinar R.O.
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Dearest Gentle Readers,
Today, I will share some personal experiences. To every woman out there looking for a new job, trying to make a change, or thinking something is wrong with their current situation. Because we spend most of our time at our jobs, everything we experience affects our personal lives, family, children, friends, and the people who surround us that we love so deeply. That is why “work” is a major part of our mental health and well-being. That’s why everyone deserves a balance.
When I left my previous job last year, I was exhausted and felt lost. My mind was foggy, and my body desperately needed rest. I knew I needed to take time to heal, both physically and mentally. This period of self-care and reflection was essential for me to regain my clarity and sense of purpose. While trying to heal me, thanks to my Neuropsychology and Organizational Psychology classes, I’ve found myself searching for my answers not only academically but personally.
By January 1st, I felt rejuvenated and ready to search for a new job actively. I was determined to find a role that matched my values and provided a supportive, mindful environment. For every position I applied for, I read online reviews about employers, asked crucial questions, and even reached out to people on LinkedIn to understand why they left their positions. Remember, while employers check our references, we also have every right to ask about them. Do it without hesitation; speak to their previous employees!
In a challenging job market, it’s essential to recognize what everyone deserves: a mentally stable environment, a positive company culture, and great leadership. During my job search, I encountered several red flags like ageism, toxicity, and insecurity in executives that I will be working with. I saw some interesting organizational charts, including one company with a CEO and 16 VPs, indicating high-level micromanagement. I received offers that lacked professionalism, including an interview where I was asked to move back to Boston with a very unprofessional offer. I turned down two jobs in motorsport because they no longer aligned with my interests, and although I was excited about a few media positions, they ended interestingly unprofessionally. It is clear that some employers must understand what is happening in their hiring process from big global brands to local companies. Indeed, some people develop a God Complex, especially when they hold the power to make decisions. (We will publish a research-backed article about this next week.) These experiences reinforced my commitment to finding a workplace where I could thrive without compromising my values and well-being. Because that was the first thing on my list, my family will be well if I am well. And I am telling you, money is not enough to feel well.
The Power of Manifestation
Let me tell you something: manifestation is everything. When I started to look for jobs, I created a SWOT analysis for myself and listed everything I wanted and didn’t want. I created a full list that I will refuse. I created a list of things that I would prefer.
I put the words in an article on January 26th, 2024.
You can read it here:
“I am looking for a job and decided to find a role that resonated deeply with my professional goals and personal passions. I am on a quest for something more than the conventional definition of a career. I am looking for a position where I could invest my entire being – my heart, my soul, my values – not just for a paycheck but for a more profound sense of fulfillment.
This journey of introspection and discovery led me to a profound realization: my genuine desire is to create a meaningful and lasting impact. I longed to be part of an environment that is not just mentally stimulating and diverse but also rich in values and positive corporate culture. I want to be part of something larger than myself that can make a difference in people’s lives. This is about finding a position that transcends the traditional job framework and embracing a labor of love and passion. Yes, I am looking for a job nowadays, a job with a great purpose, utopic, right? But I have hope. This time, I am selective. I’m looking for something whose company culture or position is to benefit people, help people, serve people, or make a difference.”
Beyond that, when we did a photo shoot for Umran Beba’s interview with Debra Chute, she asked what I wanted in a job. I told her exactly those words:
“I am looking for something in education or health, hopefully, a nonprofit with great leadership, company culture, and a wonderful work-life balance. I want to work for girls or women. Maybe for families.”
Why did I say yes to my new position?
I graduated from an all-girls high school in Istanbul, where I was a day student at a boarding school. Our teachers affectionately called us “daisies.” This photo is from my high school’s graduation ceremony in 1962-1963. During my time there, I learned the importance of supporting each other, especially as women. High school taught me the value of sharing ideas, emotions, and resources, offering help, showing up for one another, and always having each other’s backs. Maybe that’s why I am deeply connected to women’s issues and have always supported every woman, especially professionally; I see everyone as my sister because I believe in the power of sisterhood. This belief drives my studies in psychology at the graduate level, focusing on girls, women, and mental health. When I manifested what I wanted, I wrote two words in my journal: “girls” and “women.” I dreamed of working for girls or women in health or education. And now I am working for girls, with girls, in education! I am part of a great team that shares my values and carries the same beliefs. It is like a dream in a dream.
The Power of A Deep and Heartfelt Desire
My dear friend Ava brought me a green candle and little cards with signs and told me to do some manifestation for specific days. I believe our thoughts and words have power, shaping the life we create from our hearts. I followed her instructions, and on each card, I wrote two words, “Health” and “Education,” and phrases like “Happy, Diverse, Supportive” environment. My manifestation worked better than I imagined—I now live in that reality. Ava is one of my earth angels and an incredible witch; she has to do this to make money, but she doesn’t have any intention because she is a good human. Sharing her love is her superpower. Guess what? Amazingly, my new company’s main branding color is the same green as the candle and the cards Ava gave me. Some call it synchronicity; some call it coincidence, and I want to call it destiny because there are some things that we cannot explain; there are some decisions made by the universe. But of course, I did not sit and wait for it; I worked hard for it. My intention created the path I wanted.
My new job.
My new job stood out in my offers for its commitment to fostering a nurturing and collaborative atmosphere. The interview process was incredibly professional, involving a five-hour interview with many people and thorough, in-depth interviews with my references. After receiving the offer, I learned that the position had been open for over a year and that I was the best fit among the 15 candidates they selected from the application pool and they conducted similar in-person interviews with the entire team. Hearing them say I was the best fit was humbling and exhilarating. Let me tell you something; it doesn’t mean “I was the best.” I am telling you that sometimes positions call us. Sometimes, teams, needs, and dynamics fit greatly into our search, making us the best fit. When the external factors we don’t control meet our experiences, skills, and future goals, we become “The Best Fit.” Clearly, “The Best Fit” combines all of these.
When I started, I was greeted with a festive celebration, homemade things, warm hugs, and perfect welcome gifts on my desk. The universe granted my wish. I am now in a place where I am seen, heard, understood, and welcomed—no toxicity, craziness, or micromanagement. It’s a mentally stable, friendly, and growth-oriented environment with a great purpose: to support brilliant girls. The food is as good as in 5-star hotels, I have a fireplace in my room, and my commute is just nine minutes.
I am deeply grateful and proud of all my experiences in media and motorsport. Each experience has taught me something new about myself. But I’ve never been welcomed like this, even in large corporate environments with thousands of employees.
10 Tips for Women Looking for a Job
Take Time to Heal: Ensure you’re mentally and physically ready before diving into a new job search. Rest and reflection are crucial. Heal yourself first. Give yourself time. She.Work was my medicine, antidepressant, and the natural healing I needed—now helping many other women, not just me.
Clarify Your Values: Know what you want in a job. List your values and non-negotiables. Prepare your mindset for things that you will say no to. This is vital.
Research Employers: Read reviews, ask questions, and contact current or former employees to understand the company culture.
Network Actively: Use platforms to connect with professionals in your field. Help other people without hesitation; it will come back right to you. But don’t wait for anything while you are helping. Do it without calculations. By the way, people see it if you do things with a hidden agenda. We are like a mirror of our intentions.
Recognize Red Flags: During interviews, note signs of ageism, toxicity, and micromanagement. If any behaviors make you remember something, don’t walk; run away. Not only from the job interviews but also run away from people in your life.
Be Selective: Don’t settle for a job that doesn’t match your values. It’s okay to turn down offers that don’t feel right. Money isn’t the only factor to consider. You are your priority; don’t forget that.
Manifest Your Goals: Write down what you want in a job. Be specific and positive in your aspirations.
Prepare Thoroughly: For interviews, understand the company, job description, and its challenges. Show genuine interest. Prepare for the interview like you are already there. Internalize the position, but don’t take anything personally.
Value Your Worth: Know your worth and don’t accept less than you deserve. Stand firm on your requirements. Wait until you find the best one that fits your current life goals.
Celebrate Your Wins: Recognize and celebrate your big and small achievements. It’s important to acknowledge your journey and growth. I am sharing my daily small wins here.
Listening to your gut is another thing to add to this list. Listen to it; trust me, you may unfold and understand the details later.
Tips for Interviewers and HR Professionals
You are the face of the company and the first person to connect with the best candidate. Be mindful of how you act, speak, and represent the company. You mirror the employer, promoting the company to newcomers, and your leadership sets the tone for a great start. You’re not just an officer doing paperwork; you influence people’s decisions. Avoid conducting interviews if you’re feeling moody, unwell, or had a bad night’s sleep. Emotional stability is crucial to making candidates comfortable. Companies should hire HR professionals with backgrounds in psychology or organizational psychology.
Advice for Friends of Job Seekers
Be genuinely supportive. Don’t just act supportive-ish to look kind. Helping from the heart costs nothing and brings immense satisfaction. Ignoring someone in need will bring a sense of shame that lasts forever. Remember, karma is real—you might find yourself in her position one day, needing help.
I want to thank everyone who supported me, especially my current and former schools, professors, true friends, and family. You enlightened my decision.
The last two weeks have been a whirlwind—crazy, blurry, dreamy, and unbelievable. I’ve experienced many changes and adaptations and made many different decisions. My friends know that lists are my love language. Whenever I make decisions, I list everything, with columns for benefits and various considerations. Some decisions were guided by a single principle this time. “Less is more.”
That is why I chose balance. This time, I prioritized my life over work. I chose intellectual and emotional growth, which my children and I need now. I don’t know what the future holds, but I hope only good things come to everyone who reads this and those I’m connected with.
Thank you to my new team and colleagues for the warmest welcome. I am proud to be part of a globally recognized and incredibly prestigious school’s outstanding Advancement & Development team.
Thank you to all my friends who made me happy with flowers and many beautiful gifts.
Since June 1st, my life has been a bit of a roller coaster, but change is good; change is growth, and change is what makes us stronger. Let’s not be afraid of change. Sometimes, change is the best thing that you can do for yourself. In the beginning, you can even question your decisions because there will be struggles, but time will always show you that you will be fine and well. Better than before, stronger than before, and wiser than before.
Here is to a happy weekend!
During a recent job interview, an interesting HR person, whom I will tell the entire story about in the upcoming articles, asked me about my hobbies and what I do in my free time. I mentioned that I enjoy reading, still studying, and doing many academic readings with love, but creating embroidered gifts for my friends and crocheting makes me the happiest. She responded, “Oh, how vintage is that? How retro, right?” I just smiled. I couldn’t hold myself anymore because this was not the first interesting comment she threw in the air, with a loud voice and weird laugh. I nodded my head and said, “Oh, I see..” She asked what I saw, and I said, “Being a graduate student in clinical psychology is shifting; you are seeing things in action and diagnosing people. That’s funny, right?” You know what? She didn’t get it. It’s fascinating to see how some people behave so unrealistically; they don’t even realize what they’re saying. Some people don’t have a bridge between their mind, heart, and soul. And this bridge is essential for creating productive and kind communication.
Let’s read the rest as Julie Andrews from Bridgerton.
So, Dearest Gentle Readers,
while you peruse this missive, I shall be indulging in a rewatch of Bridgerton from the very beginning, all the while engaging in my cherished pastime of crocheting. I delight in my vintage and retro hobbies and celebrate my victories with pride. Ignoring the incapable is our greatest power, and achieving a state where others’ opinions hold no sway over us requires wisdom. I am proud to say that I have reached that level.
Why, you may ask? Because sometimes, after watching the latest seasons, I gain a deeper understanding of the characters and feel compelled to revisit the earlier episodes. Each rewatch offers new perspectives, allowing me to see how the cast has internalized, embraced, and developed their characters.
I hope you will enjoy the second part of Season 3.
Join me to celebrate the love and Colin & Penelope.
By the way, thank you for the more than 150,000 readings!
Yours sincerely,
Pinar R. Ozyigit
June 14th, 2024
Avon, Connecticut
